My Chiang Mai: a brush with the law, teenage riots and cheap whisky

Let it be said that I have been in the city of Chiang Mai for about three years and have never once been threatened. I have seen very few acts of violence and I have felt safe during the night hours. Let it also be said that I come from a small industrial town outside of Leeds, England, where threats and acts of violence seem to happen every time you go out on the town, where you never feel safe.

I think Thai people really aren't into unnecessary violence, it just doesn't seem to get them going the way it does the English - a nation of snobs and thugs, well, I certainly know a lot of people who fit that description. I will tell you about one night I had in Thailand where I did witness incredible acts of violence, where people lost face, literally.

It started out while we were drinking cheap Sang Som liquor in a pub usually frequented by underage students and a few farang. The music here is so loud you can't hear anyone speak and gorgeous, svelte girls dance on tables; they look at you but they never speak, after all, you're a foreigner - you feel a little like an alien. The drunker people get, the more courage they have; young lads clink glasses with you, they say, "Hey you, very good, Manchester United," and the girls sit back and smile.

Two foreigners were sitting a few tables away from ours and they looked pretty far gone. Next to their table sat a few Thai blokes and about three girls; more girls came and went throughout the evening. I don't know what was said, but it seems one of the Thai guys took offence to something the foreigners had said.

Now like I said earlier, Thais don't seem to be into the pub fight scene, but on the few occasions I have seen fights, well, I'll tell you, they have been ugly. One of the foreign guys got up and started shouting at the Thais; he was a pretty tall and lean guy, could have been over here Thai boxing - he certainly had the confidence. I noticed a familiar expression set on his drunken face - that of drunken anger, seething alcohol-infused hate. I know this look well.

Before I knew it, the Thais were up out of their seats, inferior in height and musculature; they swung from the farang guy's arms like cheeky chimps. Yet, within minutes they were everywhere; a chair was crashed over one guy's head and blood streamed from his face. More Thais came and I started getting worried that I might get caught up in the mess myself.

This is how it ended: both foreigners lying unconscious on the floor. Leaking blood, police arriving, ambulance arriving. Some Thai tells me that my friends and I should leave. I asked him what happened, why they were fighting. He said he didn't know and he seemed quite embarrassed by his country's victory.

If this had happened in England, there would have been cheers and subsequently I'd have been beaten to a pulp. He was embarrassed because Thais really don't like this sort of thing. What the guys must have said to get such a beating, I don't know, but it must have been very insulting.

On my way home the police stopped me for not having a helmet, I almost collapsed off the bike when I stopped, I was totally wrecked.

"You, no helmet, why?"

"Sorry," I mumbled, eyes rolling.

"Okay, pay 200 baht."

I paid the police and almost fell again when I tried to start the bike. It was obvious I was wrecked, but that didn't seem to bother them. Of course they did have my best interests at heart, why else would they stop me for not wearing a helmet?

The morning after I woke up with a mind-shattering hangover, a Thai whisky hangover. Thinking about the loud-mouthed foreigners, I didn't feel so bad. If there's a message, a moral in this story, then it's this: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. There are times when you should keep your thoughts to yourself. Thais are very good at this.

By James Farrell from the UK

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